M

"If I had given you the impression that I had accepted the idea of your death, I can only apologize. I tried to, I thought I had- and yet still I pictured having you for fifty, sixty more years. I thought I might be ready then to let you go. But it's you, and I realize now that I won't be any more ready to lose you then than I am right now. Which is not at all."

From: "The Mortal Instruments: City of Fallen Angels" by Cassandra Clare